roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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