We got so high we made milksteak
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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