Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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