I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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