Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
