I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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