in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
