Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
