I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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