Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
