We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
