Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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