hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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