A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
