thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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