my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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