you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
