Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
