Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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