we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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