Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
