Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
