I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
