did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?