i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
