so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
