I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She announced her abortion via fbk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
