She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
