Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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