Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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