U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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