That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
