We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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