I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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