i think i have herpe
just one?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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