yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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