i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
