help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's official drugs can't kill me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
