apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
