well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
