we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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