Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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