WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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