I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
