I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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