He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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