it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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