That's intense
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
