it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
either way he was missing a nipple.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
