so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
