3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
