I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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