I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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