just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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