My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
