I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize