i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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