I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
