covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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