On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
